T is for tasty

Just think, if Knight Rider wasn't being remade, this we be our best chance for bad television:

Thank you, Mr. T!

Bloglist Guilt

Looking at Dennis' bloglist, I got a reminder that I hadn't written any entries in 4 weeks, seriously violating my own edict to write everyday.

I'm looking at you, self!

Really, I'm not being smug

I have eco-friendly window cleaner:

eco-friendly furniture polish:

eco-friendly laundry detergent:

and eco-friendly all-purpose cleaner:

come to think of it, how do my farts smell?

I get angry

but at least I'm not that guy

Exclusive Summer Olympics news & widgets at NBC Olympics.com!

Biology not so 101

Guess where else you can get varicose veins?

The South shall just kinda spread out all over the place.

I needed three pictures to get all of my parents backyard:

 

It's getting hot in here

I'm in South Carolina visiting my parents (starting day 2 of a 3 or so week stay) and already I have swamp nuts.

On this day

The Catcher in the Rye was published. Not sure what that means...

Road Rage

Dear pedestrians in downtown Chicago,

 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step.

 

A journey of you stopping in the middle of the sidewalk ends with my foot up your ass.

 

Sincerely,

Get the fuck out of my way.

Carry on, Wayward Son

Well, I did it.

I did the 15 Hour Project (which actually is not 15 hours, but I'm just being persnickety).

 

I got to the Strawdog Theatre at a little bit before 9:30 am, Saturday morning. First person I see is my old friend Jeff at the sign-in table. My first thought was (and the first words out of my mouth as I recall) "Holy shit!" Some level of comfort was coming over me. Then I see Tony and Hector. This project is Tony's baby. As much shit as I give him, Tony has moments when he displays a good head on his shoulders. The moment he came up with this project was one of them (even though I think he was high when he thought it up).

More folks start to trickle in and I don't recognize any of 'em for a while, which does scare me a little, but Hector and I are cut-ups when we hang out so it was cool. I make a remark about fist-bumps without realizing there are two Turks sitting right behind me. Hector calls me on it. Yeah, it was going to be a good day.

Even more folks (it's a flood now) come in and I do recognize them, which makes me feel good, but really weird because they know what my skills were when I left the improv scene. The last thing I wanted to hear was "Wow, he should've stayed out." At least no one I hated was there, and my friend Jess gave me a hug when I saw her, and my friend Scott and I were finally going to get a chance do some work together. Normally, when Scott and I run into each other, it's at a festival and we're going to go see other people go to work.

Craig was there by then as well. Craig is another WiPer that was there when I was (along with Jeff and Tony, and yes Tony, I said "WiPer"). Then the guru himself, Don Hall shows up. We have the manly handshake hug and catch up a little bit. By then, we have little time before the day is really about to start.

Tony will more than likely have better details as to what went on in the morning. All I can do, is give my take on it. We start with some warm ups, some done in the big group of about 30 that we're now in, and some in smaller groups of about 10 or so. Then we get to a montage of scenes, before which Don tells us to count backwards from 25 in our heads before we step out to play (awesome advice, gets you to slow the fuck down and relax). I step out and get into some Red Rover scene that really goes nowhere. Boo. Great way to start, right? Somehow, though, the worry I had was very short-lived. Montage over, Don gives us a reminder that if you warm-up like a shithead, you're going to act like a shithead (my words, not his, but he'd probably say something like that).

Now we get to the part where the forms we're going to try working on are worked on. Out of the 30 or so suggestions, "Fake it 'til you make it," "Corporate Training Video," and "Aphorisms" are the chosen ones (I was going to say 'ones chosen' but c'mon, that's just lame).

"Fake it" became what I'm going to call a group split scene. Split scenes are two or more scenes going on at the same time and they're generally in the same environment. The scenes take turns with being the focus. Requires lots of listening and all around attention paying, which is why the first 1,000 times an actor tries them, a train wreck ensues. What made this one different was the form wound up calling for 4 seperate scenes going on. The premise of the whole thing was that people are generally wearing masks depending on what situation they're in, and what it takes to get 'em to take the masks off.

"Corporate" was inspired by those insipid, repetetive, torture devices that we're subjected to right after we're hired. Don's caveat was that this would NOT be a parody of the training video. But it would entail some video type narrative that would inspire the scenework to follow. (Lisa, Scott and I had a cool little scene when we worked this one)

"Aphorisms" was based on those bullshit, "horse to water" phrases the your grampa loved to dish out when he felt wisdom was needed. A scene would be wrapped around something that sounded like one of those, but you wouldn't know what it was until you got to it. Then, in a la ronde style, another scene would pick up with one of the first characters and a new character, take the aphorism, use it and be informed by it for the next scene and get to another aphorism. This would go on for as long as you can sustain it and keep building.

So, now we had the framework for each one. Then we had to choose which one each of us wanted to do. Don's advice: either go for the one that you think is right up your alley (in my case "Corporate"), or go for the one that scares you to death ("Fake it"). Guess which one I picked?

 

HAH! WRONG!

I picked the scary one.

We split into our teams and break for lunch for an hour.

 

3PM, and it's time to get to work. Hard work. HARD work (say that one like a pirate).

Angie McMahon was our coach. She said she begged for this one when the coaches were discussing which forms would be the final 3. The Strawdog is a neat little space on the north side of Chicago (Sheridan & Broadway). You go through the front door and go upstairs to the lobby, which became a rehearsal space in the afternoon. Go right from the stairs and through a door and you get to the HUGE studio we used in the morning. Go through the other door in the lobby and you get to the stage. A nice, 3/4 stage that suited our purposes niceley (we were gonna need some room to move, which actually became sort of a moot point later on, but I digress).

We warm up with a sound machine (one person makes a repeatable noise, everyone else starts joining in. make musical magic) which turned out to be a good idea (requires listening and attention paying). So we start working on this thing, and I'm not exactly sure of details at this point, so bear with me. We did some talking exercises which taught me that I cannot talk to people next to me and listen to another conversation without straining something. This will be a theme for the day for me. We then get into scene work with split scenes being the focus. multiple, simultaneous, split scenes. Again, straining. And it was hitting all of us to some degree, but each time we did it, it got a little easier to pick up on some things going on outside of your world. I should say now that the theater was FUCKING HOT!!! We were getting sweaty and stinky. Trust me, theatre's better when it's been properly chilled. So, we take a break right about the time light rain shower rolls in. Perfect! God wants us to continue! I felt sorry for the "Aphorisms" group, because they were working in the lobby, which is right in our way to the back stairs. Loaded with guilt and embarrassment for the interruption, we sneak across their playing area twice in 5 minutes.

We come back and start to work out more details; the big ones being a climactic moment and "popcorn" dialogue which means "quick switches of focus from all of the scenes". Angie had decided that 4 scenes going at the same time would be what we're going to do. Felt right. We had 9 people, so 3 two person scenes and one three person scene. Oh yeah, we also worked on characters mixing it up and going into other scenes, which really brought the attention paying into play, because not only did you need to know your own shit, you had to know at least something about your new scene partner. I am having all kinds of problem all afternoon. I had virtually no comedy in the tank all day. All I had was emotion, and it was some dark stuff. In one of our earlier scenes, I went on vacation with my buddies so they could bear witness to my suicide. In another, I was an overbearing father who pushed his son waaaay too hard in a public library (Kanann went along with it awesomely). In that one, I blew my proverbial load way too early and gave us a big loud moment way before it was needed. My pooch completely screwed, I was reduced to sprouting advice on parenting for the rest of that one. The popcorning was a bit of a mess because it was really difficult NOT to talk over people, and taking focus in general was a problem for us. It was ugliness, but unfortunately, it was needed ugliness. Becuase we did get through it, and it showed us when we needed stuff to happen and where and how. We worked on it some more and then left the Strawdog to do whatever we needed to do to get ready for Mullen's.

 

I go home and shower and get some clean clothes on because I smelled really, really, REALLY (say that one like Michael Buffer) bad.

 

Now we're at Mullen's, a bar that LOVES improv. They have an upstairs lounge with a stage area which turned out to be tinier than we were prepared for, at least initially, but Angie had confidence that we could make it work. We go out to the patio to warm up because we're going on first (Thanks, Tony, like I needed a reason to loathe you :)  ). It got a little weird when patrons came outside from downstairs to have a drink, but it was cool. We had even less room out there than we did on the stage, so I think we were ready for that.

 

What I wasn't ready for was being friggin' awesome. I don't remember too many details of our material. All I remember is, the scene was my father's funeral who was a skydiving escape artist who died in the very coffin he was being buried in, and my brother may or may not have killed him. I had, at the start, unresolved approval issues with my father and phobias of everything involved with his professions And there were biscuits. What I do remember best was that, although I still had an aura of darkness around me, it worked because everyone else was bringing their comedy game. Even my game was pretty good because I remember getting some audible "oohs" when I hinted at my own demise near the end of our set. The popcorning part was fucking awesome. I couldn't make out what was going on in the other scenes, but I know we were giving each one the proper space and focus and taking it back at the right time, with the right pace. Our set ends, we get a good pop from the crowd, and as we're coming off stage, Don tells us we did and awesome job. Don telling you you did an awesome job is like President Bush telling you you did a heckuva job, only the compliment is coming from someone much more intelligent and who actually watched the job that you did. It's also like that when it comes from your coach that has worked with you all day.

 

I just wanted to enjoy the other two shows, which is exactly what I did, so my critic was turned off. Therefore, I'll let Tony talk about them in his blog.

The day of reckoning

ok 15 hour project is tomorrow

go to Mullen's at 3527 N Clark st (about 1/2 block south of Clark & Addison) and go upstairs. Tickets go on sale at 8pm. Tell 'em you're there to see me. I get $5 for everyone of you that says that.

 

seriously, it's a chance to see me fall on my ass as a result of having not rocked the 'prov for almost 2 yrs. you know you want to see that.

Too little, too late?

I still love you, Congressmen Kucinich

check this out

I saw the pilot thanks to iTunes and dag nabbit this looks good!

Back in the saddle

I recently signed up for Theatre Momentum's annual 15 hour project. The gist of it is that 3 teams of actors spend most of the day working out a format for an improv show to be put on that night.

 

I'm a little nervous about this, mainly because I haven't been on a stage in about a year and a half or so. I decided to sign up becuase I haven't been on a stage in a bout a year and a half or so, and I've been wanted to do some improv again for a while. The way I figure it, there'll be no better way to jump back in than with a crash course/all-day intensive.

 

I may shoot myself when the day is over.

Bill O’Reilly: All Blown Up

There are some days when Countdown beats the pants off The Daily Show:

and some where Hardball rules the universe and teaches me a few things:

Top Ten Songs: A tagged MEME

Dennis Frymire picks now to tag me with this one.

Pick my ten favorite songs.

Ten? Only Ten?

Okay, I'll try…in no particular order:

1. "Dare to be Stupid" – Weird Al Yankovic. How many folks not associated with Devo can write a Devo style song?

2. I like my love songs simple, so I'm going with "Even in the Darkness" – Rue Royale.

3. Also in the vein of simple love songs, Sarah MacLachlan's "Ice Cream". Taking the stereotypical top indulgences of women, namely ice cream and chocolate, and then saying "your love" is better than both. I just like it, and she sings it with her husband, which is cool.

4. As far as break-up songs go…"Dance the Night Away" by the Mavericks is nice and bouncy and says "stay the hell away from me, woman" in the bounciest ways. (search for the song title on you tube since embedding was disabled). There you go Dennis, a country song.

5. "The Imperial March" – The Empire Strikes Back. Seriously, how does this score NOT kick ass?

6. It's difficult for me to single out one song on They Might Be Giants Flood album, but I'll do it with "We Want a Rock" based on imagery alone.

7. "Someone to Watch Over Me" – Ella Fitzgerald. I've got my reasons.

8. "Baby, One More Time" – Brad Roberts' version. Mindless bubblegum becomes a LOT creepier (and funnier) when sung by a baritone. (and I'm really wishing I could find an online version of it)

9. Staying with the Crash Test Dummies, "God Shuffled His Feet". Nice little song about the Creator trying to figure out how to communicate with humans. Try as He might, we ain't getting it.

10. "Jack Sparrow" - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Not sure how, but it gets me going in the morning. Plus, you can just feel Captain Jack in this score.

Dennis tagged a few people I would tag, so my tag list is short. Kris, Lee, Alycee, Nikki, and Hector.

Laundry List

I'm writing this in an Argo Tea and watching an episode of MacGuyver while doing so, so my attention may be a little divided. It's weird, when one writes, one is basically asking oneself to bare one's soul, even just a little bit. In other words, be yourself. Usually, this one (me) likes to do that when no one else is around. In other words, in my own apartment.

 

I've come to the realization that I can't be myself when I'm in public, so it's a little weird writing this at the moment. I have a few theories on this, and they all kind of mush together. The first is that I've got a few screws loose up in my head, and I'm trying desperately to gather them up and put them in a coffee can so when I need them, I know where they are.

The laundry list?

1. ADD – Kind of uncomfortable when you're amongst friends and you can't carry on a conversation because at least 2 of your senses think there is something else more important going on, and your brain agrees with them.

2. Dyslexia – Usually only shows itself in writing types of situations, so that's ok; however, it also shows up in situations requiring navigation. Let me ask you this, would you want to be perceived as someone who didn't his left from his right? Or the guy who reads maps backwards? I didn't think so.

3. Clinical Depression – I got called "crybaby' a lot when I was a kid, and my buttons labeled "uncontrolled sadness", "pissed off", and "nervous breakdown/panic attack" are easily pushed. Sometimes, they don't need pushing.

4. Epilepsy – Or at least a minor form of it. I don't get grand mol seizures (the tremor-y kind), I get petit mol seizures, where my brain short-circuits for brief moments in time and I get caught in a walking catatonia.

5. I stutter – either my brain's moving faster than my mouth (or vice-versa), or I'm not feeling very confident.

 

The only place, not including total solitude, that I have ever felt I could be myself was a place in Phoenix, Arizona. It was a center for adults with learning disabilities. Granted, this was, BY FAR, NOT the greatest place on earth. The staff kind of forgot the word "adults" when it came to how we were treated. But, I was surrounded by folks who were just as screwed up, and sometimes more screwed up, than myself. It wasn't exactly "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," but dammit there were some moments that were just liberating. For example, it was not strange to find yourself letting out a primal scream and punching a hole through a wall, in full view of your peers, just because your roommate woke you up early with all of his noise. In the "real" world, where the object is to be as fake as you can stomach, you just don't see that. It wasn't strange to be a recluse out in public and amongst friends, but out here, friends insist on talking to you to figure out "what's wrong." It wasn't strange for a man to cry (loudly I might add, we're talking full on wailing here) when he has to break up with his girl because she's moving back home, and anyone seeing you wouldn't care that you were doing it, they'd just let you do it. Out here, you either get people shying away from you or a cop wondering if there's something wrong with you and should he/she give you a field sobriety test.

Let me clarify what reason number 2 is: People out in the world, when I come into contact with them, and in spite of my attempts to hide, inevitably find out at least one of the five things above, either through subconscious observation, or me telling them, or one of the behaviors manifesting itself. In any case, I have found that their opinions of me change. I get looks that say, "What are you ON man?" I get pointed at, and laughed at. That shit hurts. It hurts enough that I'm having to fight off tears right now…in public.

"You just need to be yourself!" That's the cheery advice we get for everything, right? Job interview? Be yourself. Negotiation? Be yourself. Get a date? Be your goddam self.

 

Bullshit I tell you. Complete and utter bullshit.

Hell Week

It's mid-term week here at Harold Washington College.

Guess who's brain turned to Jell-O?

Bullshit

The Onion may be on to something here:


Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

A lesson in physics

Whoever said that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, has obviously never been to a Jewel on Super Bowl Sunday.

The greatest improvisation ever

was not on a stage or in a cabaret.

 

It was in a wrestling ring:

NO SALE!

Dear Gateway salespeople,

If the first words out of my mouth are, "I'm just browsing," please, for the love of God and everything else that is holy, don't try to sell me anything.

Sincerely,
A new Dell customer, and an Apple devotee

A Letter to Ben & Jerry's

Dear Ben & Jerry's

Stop making new flavors that are delicious enough to make a man tear down the Great Wall in order to get some. Case in point, Vermonty Python.

Sincerely,
My gut

Frustrations and decisions

1) this week we barely covered new material in school

2) Kucinich just dropped out. Now who am I supposed to vote for?

The only atlas you'll ever need

Animaniacs f-ing ruled:

Archetypes are real, but not all of them evil

My first week of being back in college is over. See if you can match which professor's archetype goes with which class?

1. Film student with a political agenda
2. Space Cadet with a PhD
   
3. Nerd
4. Middle-aged woman baffled by technology

1. Biology
2. Theater
3. English
4. Math

(first list/second list: 1/3, 2/1, 3/4, 4/2)

not sure as to whether I like my classes, but when they're on topic, the profs know their shit. Even when they're not, they're 4 great character studies.

Nerd card refilled

The validity of my nerd card has been discussed before (see here)

However, I had recently started to think that my failure to have seen the movie Tron forced me to think that I'm not as big of a nerd that I thought I was.

Then I had this conversation at my temp job yesterday:

ME: I feel like such a nerd. I just got my textbooks and I started reading them when I got home.

Female Coworker: That's not so bad, I mean, if it's something you're interested in, that's understandable.

ME: I was reading my math book.

FC: (laughing) Oh, that IS bad.

Tron can wait.

----------------
Now playing: Bitchin Camaro - Dead Milkmen
via FoxyTunes

Unnecessary

Dear Comcast:

Thanks for promoting the butchering of an acre of trees just so you can send me a bill for $0.14.

Fuck you very much,
Me

Comedy Central copyrighted what I wanted to call this

Well, it’s finally here. Caucus day. The day that candidates, pundits, and the people who make really awesome media graphics have been salivating for. Voters have also been waiting for it, only because we realize that the day when politicians “shut the fuck up” will never arrive.

It was not that long ago that the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) put out “A Call to Civic Responsibility” and I can tell you, after having read it, it’s pretty entertaining, especially the part about eternal souls being at risk. It is also, surprisingly enough, not an endorsement of any one candidate or party. Yep, they were telling the truth about that. It was more of a guidebook stressing using your conscience and reasoning skills (predominantly the “lesser of two evils” kind) to come to a decision. Unfortunately, some decisions may result in fiery death and eternal damnation (see: eternal souls).

I read in the hopes that it would provide an endorsement to anyone. Let’s face it, whether you’re a Republican (not me) or a Democrat (me) or an independent (blow me), this election is bat-shit crazy (If Kucinich wins the nomination, “Bat-shit crazy” should be his campaign slogan). The amount of choices alone is enough to make a person cry, and after I did, I decided to treat this “Call” as if it actually were instructions on who to vote for.

Then I realized how many issues are on the table, and I cried again. Buckets.

In an attempt to figure out just which candidate (I’m not pluralizing that. Seriously, having even the singular in there is pretty optimistic as to the results of this endeavor) best fits the USCCB’s guidelines, I decided to take a look at how the candidates feel about the issues, see if they agree with the Church, and be snarky if they don’t jibe (I’ll try to be really dickish if their respective positions are just plain stupid).

So, let’s take a look at the issues and where folks stand.

First up is healthcare, which the Church believes should be universal and palliative. Two big points there. Give everyone health insurance and if they need to smoke a bowl to deal with chemo, go right ahead. The Church also believes that the government should take care of people who are sick. In general, Republicans aren’t fond of those darn feds messing with everything, and Medicare/Medicaid should be done away with. However, Romney believes more responsibility should go to the state governments. In that respect he’s somewhat similar to Governor Richardson, who thinks states should take more responsibility with Medicare. Democrats are pretty much pro-universal health care and that the government can pay for some, if not all of it. As far as medical marijuana is concerned, the only Republican who’s in favor of it? Again, Romney.

Catholics are opposed to war unless it is the very last resort. The Church also thinks that that nuclear disarmament (including our own) is a pretty good idea. Rudy has repeatedly said that he’s all for pre-emptive strikes and use nukes if he feels they’re needed. Huckabee supports the Bush administrations actions in Iraq. Do I really need to tell you what Thompson’s position is? Ron Paul is opposed to the war and thinks it was not justified, but he thinks we should be total isolationists which is just plain nutty.
Romney favored the invasion of Iraq, but he says he likes diplomacy too. I get in a similar dilemma whenever I decide whether my tea should or should not have milk in it.
Biden supported the war, but he regrets it, and he’d like it if China would reduce her nuclear arsenal. Clinton says that human rights are central to foreign policy, and she voted in support of the Iraq war, and she also regrets it. Edwards wants to help the economic development of third-world countries. He also voted for the war, and, once again, regrets it. Do I really need to tell you what Kucinich’s position is? Richardson favors the diplomatic path in regards to the Middle East and we should relax a little when Castro dies. Obama’s position is weird because he’s voted against and then for redeployment of troops in Iraq. He, like Clinton, values human rights as part of the whole foreign policy taco. Then again, his middle name is Hussein, so should we really listen to him?
I couldn’t find anything about reducing our own stockpile of WMDs

The USCCB says the Church is opposed to the death penalty. That’s understandable, considering how the faith got started. Only 2 of the candidates I’m looking at (Kucinich for the Democrats and Ron Paul for the Republicans) agree. And you thought Washington couldn’t agree on anything. To be fair, most candidates have said something along the lines of limiting its use (Biden and Clinton both voted to expand the list of crimes that you can be put to death for, so don’t piss on their lawns).

The Church is opposed to discrimination, except when it comes to same-sex marriages.
Here’s where the campaign goes into the fucking twilight zone. Paul, McCain, and Thompson are all opposed to same-sex marriages/unions but think it’s a matter best left to the states. Clinton favors civil unions (not marriage) but also thinks it should be left up to the states whether same-sex marriage is allowed. Edwards won’t say whether he wants to call it a union or a marriage, but same-sex couples should get benefits. Richardson voted for the Defense of Marriage Act, but (again) regretted is so much that he fought against it when the matter came up in his own state of New Mexico. Rudy, Obama, and Romney support civil unions, but for one reason or another, stop short of calling it marriage. Kucinich and Biden are the only ones who are truly used to the queers being here and want them to get married. Huckabee is just plain homophobic.

The Church teaches that we are stewards of God’s creation (Earth) and we should take care of it. Generally, everyone agrees with this (finally), although Thompson isn’t convinced that human actions have anything to do with Global Warming, which means he better not blame anybody when the spots on his giant head turn out to be tumors.

Abortion. Ahhh the big one. The head honcho, the big cheese, the…you get the idea. Biden makes a statement in regards to the real dilemma that Catholics (and really, anyone with a pulse) have to face when dealing with this issue:

"I’m a practicing Catholic, and it is the biggest dilemma for me in terms of comporting my religious and cultural views with my political responsibility."

Okay, most of us (the general public) don’t have political responsibilities, but we do have questions about what exactly is the greater good, which is something politics is supposed to gear us toward. The big question is what constitutes the beginning of life. Is it at conception or sometime after that? Some people (including those in the Church) believe the former; some believe the latter. Some of us, like me, haven’t made up their minds and would rather gather everyone around the fire and drink hot cocoa and sing folk songs. The not-so-much smaller question is what would happen if abortion were once again illegal. An even smaller question is; if all fetuses were brought to term, what would South Park have to talk about now?

So, how do our fearless candidates feel about this thing?

Biden’s against public funding and against late term abortions, but supports a woman’s right to choose based on privacy. Clinton is similar and advocates contraception and education. Edwards: “I believe in a woman’s right to choose, but I think this is an extraordinarily difficult issue for America. … I believe the government should not make these health-care decisions for women - I believe they should have the freedom to make them themselves.” Rudy personally opposes abortion but supports public funding for it. He’s against partial birth abortion. Huckabee’s position is a little confusing. He supports a Constitutional ban on abortions, yet he feels legislation should be left up to the states, which is exactly like saying, “I’m appalled at the mess in the break room, and to show you how much I care about a clean workspace, you’re going to clean it up, Johnson!”
Kucinich supports the right to choose, but he stresses reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies. McCain opposes abortion except in cases of rape and incest, and he also feels legislation should be left up to the states. Obama’s position pretty much mirrors Kucinich’s. Ron Paul is so much against abortion that he voted against family planning funding in the US and abroad in 2001. He’s against partial birth abortions unless the mother’s life is at stake. Richardson is pro-choice. Do I really need to give Romney’s position? Even with the coverage his change of mind has gotten? I don’t? Cool. Thompson opposes federal legislation or the Constitution banning abortion, yet he voted for banning partial birth abortions, yet he’s worked as a pro-choice lobbyist. I did all that in '95 and pulled a hammy.

So, in conclusion, thank God that USCCB did NOT give an endorsement to anyone, because, just based on these issues, they have no one to endorse.

you wanna check out all the candidates and the issues, you can go here